This Southern Belle's Musings

This Southern Belle's Musings

"Darlin', don't ever take a Southern woman for granted!" [tm]

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Southerners . . .

I can't take credit for this - my Uncle e-mailed it to me (and, only Heaven knows where he got it) - but, it's too good to not share . . . so, ENJOY!

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.     They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.     If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."     They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

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Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

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A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines.     We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

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Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that milk gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."     Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.     "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.     You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

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To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness     Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.     Bless your heart!

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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southerness as a second language!

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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could.

Category:: Just For Fun

(c) 2005 A Southern Belle's Life

# Kitty purred her secrets at :9:06 PM
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Susan Reno-Gilliland, known as "Miss Kitty," an Irish lass, a true Southern Belle; a writer, photographer, animal-lover, dreamer, stargazer, totally tangled (or is that entangled?) in relationships, slightly obsessive iNFp with stories to tell! . . . (fascinated by forensics, human behavior, pushing all the right buttons of men I find interesting, and seeking utterly-sweet revenge without any repercussions.) I am a Friday's Child. Friday's Child is loving & giving.
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